I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
