You're so nebulous sometimes
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
