Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
