So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
