Whod you bang
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
