I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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