this just has baby written all over it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
