it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
