you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize