dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
