Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
