Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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