It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
