Moan for me like Helen Keller
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
