dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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