omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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