When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
