She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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