we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
