Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
