This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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