So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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