Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
