in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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