Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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