sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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