It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
