he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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