I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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