Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
