there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
