Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
