i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
