do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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