plz talk dirty to me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
