What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
