I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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