The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
