Say something about gay babies.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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