He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
