Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The feeling are messing with the penis
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
