I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
