Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
