imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
