was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
