it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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