JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
