That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
