If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize