the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
