i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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