I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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