"it" just moved
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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