So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
