tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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