Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your penis caused this!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
