One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
