you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
