Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
