People in love make me want to vomit
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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