Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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